Having worked with lawyers for over 30 years, I have had the privilege of getting to know them in ways most people don’t.
I believe I understand the incredible demands of your profession. How mentally challenging your work is and the tremendous pressure you are under to get every stage of a case or project right because a mistake or losing can have devastating consequences for your clients and your firm.
As a result, many lawyers find themselves unintentionally striving for perfection. Perfection, however, is an illusion.
Unfortunately, the illusion of perfection often spills over from a lawyer’s professional life into her personal life. You know, the illusion that you have it all together, all the time. Most people believe all lawyers have fabulous incomes and are financially secure; enjoy loving, healthy relationships; and experience the self-confidence that comes with a prestigious career.
This causes many lawyers keep their challenges to themselves, shielding family and friends from knowing they may be struggling financially, or that their relationship is in trouble, or that they are unhappy.
After thousands of conversations with hundreds of lawyers, I have found there are 5 common issues preventing women lawyers from creating lives they love:
- The journey of a lawyer is one of constantly proving your value and worth. Therefore, many form the habit and pattern of always being focused on accomplishing the next goal instead of being more deeply connected to who they are as a woman.
- They mistakenly believe that what they do for work validates who they are as a person which then erodes self-confidence and self-esteem.
- They develop a ‘fact and evidence’ based communication style that is alienating instead of attracting. Many lawyers find it impossible to get out of their head so they can communicate from their heart.
- They lead with male energy, which repels men and alienates women.
- They put work first and self-care last.
Do any of these feel familiar to you? If so, the good news is you can change it!
There are 5 things you can do right now to start creating a life you love.
- There is a saying that we are either being or becoming. Take some time to just be you. You have done the hard work required to become a lawyer. The person you are and the qualities you possess got you here. Now, regularly take time to be more of you. The fun you, the creative you, the adventurous you. (The Secret to Living Authentically.)
- Understand on a deep level that your work can never validate your worth. You were born worthy of living a loving, happy and fulfilling life. (If Your Law Degree Could Love You.) Don’t allow your happiness to result from what you accomplish but instead, allow it to stem from who you are. Cultivate the habit of pursuing happiness. (Stop Negotiating Your Happiness.)
- Learn to communicate from your heart. Your feelings will not always seem logical. But to communicate from your heart, you must allow the emotions of what and how you are feeling to possess an inner voice that is as valued and highly regarded as your logical voice.
- Understand that your femininity is your superpower. Though the nature of your work may be aggressive, contentious and adversarial, learn to regularly shift out of that mode and to embody whatever honors the most feminine aspect of who you are. Intentionally connect to your feminine you daily. It will change your life! (The Secret to Being Powerful.)
- Make self-care your priority. Do this immediately. If resting doesn’t come naturally to you (it doesn’t to me), learn how to do so. Schedule time to rest and relax. Do not allow the diagnosis of an illness to force you to slow down and take time for your life. (Are You Sitting Down.)
Do you need support in creating a life you love? I can help you clarify your personal and professional goals, discuss challenges and explore solutions. The process will help you create an action plan to take the next best steps to move your life forward.
Click here to find out more and see past success stories.
Feel free to email me confidentially at firstname.lastname@example.org or on LinkedIn.