If you have ever heard those words spoken to you by a man you were deeply in love with, chances are, he soon thereafter broke your heart, striking a very severe blow to your self-confidence and self-esteem.
How do I know? I have coached countless single women through deconstructing the shock and pain of the end of their relationship; while simultaneously continuing to build the legal careers they had devoted so much of their lives attaining.
Many of them, like you, want to have a thriving professional career along with a healthy, happy, love relationship. Like them, you are the “complete package.” An accomplished, intelligent, beautiful woman on the fast track to success. You have a lot going for you. The right man would be overjoyed to love you.
However, this happens instead. You find yourself in a relationship with someone who should be telling you how proud of you he is but unfortunately, says things like, “I don’t deserve you,” and “you’re too good for me.”
Ladies, when you hear those fateful words . . . please . . . please believe him!
One major roadblock to creating a life you love and creating a healthy relationship you enjoy is not believing what men tell you.
Maya Angelou said: “When people tell you who they are, believe them.” And she further added . . . the first time.
In practical terms, when a man tells you who he is, you will save yourself a lot of pain and heartache if you simply believe him.
If he says he doesn’t deserve you, trust him. He doesn’t.
If he says you are too good for him, trust him. You are.
He is sharing with you what is true for him, about him. And he knows himself better than you ever will.
I have included a few other examples of how I have personally seen this play out.
- When a man tells you: “I am not ready to be in a relationship.” Believe him. He is not ready to be in a relationship.
- When a man tells you: “I am not interested in being married.” Believe him. He is not interested in being married.
- When a man tells you: “I have a reputation for being a heartbreaker and I will probably end up hurting you.” Believe him. He is going to hurt you and leave you heartbroken.
You get the idea.
I have asked countless women who were in deep pain about a breakup if there were signs the relationship was not quite right, about to end, or not what they truly wanted on a deep level. In every instance, I have been told not only were there signs but their men had literally told them (one or all) the things I wrote above. And worse.
I believe part of the confusion lies in women accepting the old saying that “actions speak louder than words.” So they feel that if a man is romancing them: expensive gifts, nice dinners, flowers, and cards, etc., his actions are speaking louder than his words.